Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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