Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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