There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
