What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
