I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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