it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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