Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
