lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize