yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
