i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just want to make out with him forever
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
