But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I enjoy the company of your penis
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
