he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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