I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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