Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
