i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
