While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
