So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
