The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
