suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
