last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
