i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
