Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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