I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she pinky promised me she was 18
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
