God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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