I wanna bring you to show and tell
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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