OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
