no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
