p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
only you would photoshop your dick
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
