No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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