Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
