I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
