Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
