My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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