she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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