from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
