I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize