Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
