the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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