So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
