So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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