Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
