found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
