just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
