That's intense
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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