Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize