dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
