Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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