Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
