you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize