Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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