This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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