Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
