Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Non-Jews are for practice
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Randomize
