Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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