Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
