Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
