Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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