she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
