Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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