I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
