haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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