someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
